April 28, 2011
I was just looking at a news site and there was a small ad, showing a young woman doing a tummy crunch, and promising (the ad, not the young woman) “a bikini-ready body in six weeks!”
I really don’t think so. Of course, it could depend upon what one considers to be “bikini-ready,” but assuming common usage, there’s not a chance in the world this middle-aged body is going to be “bikini-ready,” whether measured in weeks, months, or years.
It might be giggleworthy to take the advertiser at his or her word and show up, demanding to be lithe, toned, and generally svelte in six weeks, as per the ad’s promise.
Glancing over an article claiming to be “An American’s Guide to The Wedding” I was rather stunned to discover that some of the guests are scheduled to arrive at the north door to Westminster Abbey at 8:15 a.m., British time. Almost three hours early! Mercy Maud. That’s early, that is. Granted, it beats arriving fifteen or more minutes after the wedding procession has started; you’d be surprised at how many people do just that, and I (acting in my capacity as the wedding volunteer) have to direct them to a side door so they don’t trail the bride down the aisle.
I’ve been trying to recall how many royal weddings I’ve lost sleep to watch, and think this will be the fourth. The first was Princess Anne’s, then Prince Charles’, then Prince Andrew’s, and now William’s. For the life of me I can’t remember whether Edward’s wedding simply wasn’t televised or I elected to give it a miss. Anyone? Anyone?
On a somber note, my heart is heavy for Alabama and all the areas hit by tornadoes this week. The death toll is almost 300! My mind boggles. And to think of that mile-wide twister being on the ground for two solid hours is simply incomprehensible. I honestly did not know such a thing was possible. Two hours? A tornado that holds together for two hours? Frightening!