October 28, 2005

  • Here, I'll make everyone feel really good about themselves, and tell about the yucky situation that occurred last night.

    I'd gone into the bedroom to get ready for bed, during which time Boots
    (the cat that likes to lay on our bed) decided she wanted to go into
    the rest of the house.  Now.  Right
    now.  Really, she meowed, get cracking and open this darn
    door.  Now, Dmitry doesn't call her "stupid cat" for no
    reason....when I finally went to open the door Boots pulled her usual
    stunt of dashing back to stand next to the bed and cower.

    Boots cowers like nobody's business.  She's the "Cowering Cat"
    poster cat.  I don't hit her or kick her, for crying out
    loud!  In fact, I'm the one who provides food, water, and changes
    the kitty litter.  Couldn't tell it by her behavior when I go to
    open the door for her, however.  One would think she'd suffered
    the torments of the damned at my hands.  Read once that cats do
    this to create a little excitement in their otherwise rather dull lives.

    Good as explanation as any.

    Anyway, I opened the door a few inches then walked toward Boots,
    angling a bit to the left, thus providing a Way Of Escape for
    her.....she dashed like the Seven Hounds of Hades were on her tail,
    knocking the door open as she beat a hasty retreat into the hall.

    And in so doing, tripped over the quite frighteningly huge roach (the
    kind that lives outside and sneaks into the house) that was outside the
    door, scuttling toward the bedroom.  I don't know which was most
    surprised and taken aback:  Boots, the roach, or me.  I
    suspect it was me.

    The roach apparently decided that whatever it
    was in the bedroom sent the cat rocketing wildly out of it was
    something smart roaches avoid, so turned around to go back the way it
    must have come.  Except now there was Boots sitting there, casting
    an interested eye on this new kitty toy.

    Hmmm.....Freddy Krueger in the bedroom, a large roach-killing critter
    dead ahead.  This was one baffled bug, which elected to hunker
    down next to the big box of books in the hall (which has been there at
    least a year and a half....it's on the list, alright?) and hope no-one notices it.

    Trust me, roaches the size of rutabagas, I notice. 

    Grabbed a really old can of flying insect spray from under the bathroom
    sink cabinet and - putting my shoes on first, naturally - gingerly yet
    bravely tiptoed into the hall where the roach was, and sprayed
    it.  Since it was facing in the opposite direction I couldn't get
    a really good look at its face, not to mention it was dark in the hall,
    but the impression I got was of puzzlement.  Sprayed it
    again.  This time it shook itself irritably and ran on.

    I found a magazine I decided needed to be thrown out anyway, and
    cautiously entered the hall.  I could hear the sounds of
    scrabbling, so figured it'd run behind a paper bag of stuff (it's on the list, okay?) and Boots was trying to get to it.

    Nope.  Boots was sitting still, head cocked, attention fastened on
    the bag, from which the loud scrabbling noises came.  The bug had
    climbed into the bag but now wanted out.

    Mercy Maud, I do so hate situations like these. 

    I can't go to bed listening to that noise, obviously, but I'll be
    darned if I'm going to peer into that sack, either.  After a
    minute or two Rutabaga Roach managed to pull itself up sufficiently to
    leap out of the sack and land on the floor, whereupon I dropped the
    magazine on it and stamped on it.  Then went to get a phone book
    and drop that on it for good measure. 

    Y'know, the publishers of those phone books are quite right....there are some things the internet just can't do for you. 

Comments (16)

  • Yikes!  Texas-sized roaches are one thing I do not miss.

  • This one looked to be an import from Houston. =8^(

    They grows 'em big in Houston.

  • Tag!  You're it, Anne - come to   my blog to read the rules.

  • Anne, you made my day!! I knew you had the best sense of humor of the bunch, but this, this proves it!! Ho ho , who can we get to print this, who??? Ha a ha!!!! funny!!

  • Thanks, Mom, but I think Jeanne, Louis, and Elaine would take justifiable issue with you on that. ;^p

  • Anne! That IS funny!  Isaac was telling me today that they had a roach incident last night while Conrad and I were at the stuffmart.
    Steven and Isaac were doing dishes and just as Steven reached for the sprayer and a cockroach (or crockroach as Isaac calls 'em) flew into his face.  We have a big gap under the door going out into the garage, I think they hail from there.  Isaac was really funny discribing Steven's panic. 
    So, maybe they use the internet and plan attacks syncopated all over the south!
    Margaret

  • Well gee whiz, Anne, roaches are people too you know.   I'm tellin' PETA.

  • Hahahahaha....ow...ow...hahahah...too funny!  In Florida they like to call those roaches "Palmetto Bugs"  like that sweetens them up or something!  What's with that?!  It's still a cockroach from Damnation Alley...

    ~Kathryn

  • OK, you just found your novel, my dear.  Memories of a Hounded Housewife.  Just make each chapter like this one, and you'll have the public eating out of your hand.

    Now, send it to the local newspaper and see if they can resist publishing it!  I DARE YOU!

  • That'd be an awfully short chapter, Eleanor.

    Still....Memoirs of a Hounded Housewife does possess a certain élan, does it not?

  • Oh, and hi, Kathryn! How kind of you to visit. "Palmetto bug"! Hadn't heard that in years. It does sound more upscale than Rutabaga Roach. ;^p

  • My dears, there is a very great difference between the Palmetto Bug and the common cockroach.  Nice people sometimes have Palmetto Bugs in their houses.

  • Those critters come in from outside, durn burn 'em. I've come home at night and the headlights caught 'em crossing the street toward our house. =8^<

  • I think my house is training for Navy Seal roaches, to see if they can survive full scale war.... I mean, we've moved large pieces of furniture to finish off one of those suckers...never mind the roach spray, I'll use anything lethal,... drowned one in softscrub once.....

    We're having problems with "The Year of the Lizard!!!!"  These guys have decided that our home makes a lovely summer get away....About the only place I haven't gotten one is in the washing machine, but it probably won't last long, one of them is bound to think of it as a nifty hot tub...;0)

  • We get lizards in the house occasionally, but they mostly stay outside. The porch light draws gnats, which are apparently the Staff Of Life to them, gauged by the number of lizards seen at night on the wall. Usually 3-4, but once in a while there's been 6-7.

  • I killed one with Easy Off once, but I wouldn't recommend this method - it's a really slow death and, nasty as the things are, I still prefer to despatch them quickly.

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